Last night we had to put my cat, Noche, down. He started acting strange on Sunday - meowing and hissing when he tried to go to the bathroom. By Monday night, he just laid in his litter box. I took him to the vet on Tuesday when I got home from work. He couldn't even lift his head - and he never meowed, which is very uncharacteristic of him. He was the most talkative cat I ever met. The vet said there was a blockage and gave me an estimate of $700 to fix it. As much as I loved him, I couldn't spend that much money, especially not knowing if he would survive. He was in bad shape. I just wanted to put him out of his misery. I held him and petted him and said goodbye.
I don't know why I'm taking this so hard. Last night I couldn't stop crying. This morning I burst into tears when I walked past our stairs and he wasn't there to jump out and swat at my leg then run behind the chair, or when he wasn't waiting for me outside the bathroom door after my shower, and he wasn't there to beg for a drink of water from the sink. I even imagined I saw him sitting on his favorite blanket and I swear I heard muffled meows this morning when I was still in bed.
Noche was annoying. He meowed a lot. He was messy. He didn't just cover his poo, he kicked the litter with a flare I have never seen before, scattering it on the floor. He had emotional issues too, probably from being abandoned by his mother at a very early age on the streets of Mexico. He compulsively licked his paws. And I'm pretty sure he is the culprit who gave me ringworm while we were still living in Mexico.
I loved him anyway. I loved the way he followed me all over the house, sometimes so close I would trip over him. I loved the way he couldn't wait to sit on my lap and snuggle as I watched TV. I loved the way he sometimes meowed with a slight gurgle when he really wanted something - maybe trying to sound more pathetic so I would give in. It usually worked.
But what I'll remember most about Noche is the unconditional love he gave me when I needed it most.
So now I'll cry for a little while. Because I miss him. And I love him. Maybe the menopause drugs are making me even more emotional than what is considered normal; but if you have lost a pet, you probably know how I feel. Best of all, you know how it feels to be loved simply because you are you.
Thank you for that gift, buddy. 
I don't know why I'm taking this so hard. Last night I couldn't stop crying. This morning I burst into tears when I walked past our stairs and he wasn't there to jump out and swat at my leg then run behind the chair, or when he wasn't waiting for me outside the bathroom door after my shower, and he wasn't there to beg for a drink of water from the sink. I even imagined I saw him sitting on his favorite blanket and I swear I heard muffled meows this morning when I was still in bed.
Noche was annoying. He meowed a lot. He was messy. He didn't just cover his poo, he kicked the litter with a flare I have never seen before, scattering it on the floor. He had emotional issues too, probably from being abandoned by his mother at a very early age on the streets of Mexico. He compulsively licked his paws. And I'm pretty sure he is the culprit who gave me ringworm while we were still living in Mexico.
I loved him anyway. I loved the way he followed me all over the house, sometimes so close I would trip over him. I loved the way he couldn't wait to sit on my lap and snuggle as I watched TV. I loved the way he sometimes meowed with a slight gurgle when he really wanted something - maybe trying to sound more pathetic so I would give in. It usually worked.
But what I'll remember most about Noche is the unconditional love he gave me when I needed it most.
So now I'll cry for a little while. Because I miss him. And I love him. Maybe the menopause drugs are making me even more emotional than what is considered normal; but if you have lost a pet, you probably know how I feel. Best of all, you know how it feels to be loved simply because you are you.
Thank you for that gift, buddy.
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1 comment:
tears....
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